Thursday, July 2, 2009


Imagine this:
You recently joined a new company and every time you make a decision or give a recommendation for work on hand and your boss kills your idea and you are asked to do what he suggests. I'm sure - if this continues after you have established credibility and continue to piss you off, and you are capable of getting another job... you will make the move.

I don't think any of us, after we grow up - can take a place where you are not being heard or listened to, we like the company of people who listen and have open ears, give you the freedom to explore... why? because that is when we are working to our best. Wait a minute... why am I talking about adults on a parenting blog - because some parents are like the bad boss who don't listen to their kids or even if they do... very little of the times.

Listening to your kid is important...
Yes, having an open ears and listening to what your kid has to say, what she likes for dinner, where she wants to play, what dress to wear - obviously with some boundaries around them that you have set for safety or cultural reasons. I know, what you are thinking by now -- "Yeah, I listen to my kid, give her options", good if you are already... I would only challenge to reflect upon & see instances that you have pushed your thought or desire on the kid in past one week, month etc... how would listening help? let me give your few characteristics that would nurture in the kid by adopting this:

thinking attitude:
You have now given a chance for your kid to think & come up with what she wants to do, what she does not want to do... she analyzes the choices she has, build a reasoning to pick one - this is nurturing her analytic capability. You are giving room for her to breadth and not just pushing through what you or your spouse like.

self responsibility:
If you let your kid to make the decision & go forward... you are giving a strong message that she is responsible for her decisions and need to go through as long she believes, learn when to abandon a path & come back. Keep in mind, you are always their to give them assurance about their choice or for support... if they are totally lost. You are instilling the sense of "self responsibility" in their hearts & building their confidence.

knowing their limits:
Your kid starts learning her limits as she explores with her decision making, realizes what she is good and what she is not good at... as against you making the decision and forcing her to take a path. This is eventually shaping your kids strengths, weakness, opportunity realization and is shaping up to a responsible teenager as she grows.

learning from mistakes:
Yes, your kid will make mistakes - might fail several times, could get annoyed and might lose an interest on something... that you thought she should pursue, it's ok... let go. Just because you thought was dancing class was right for your daughter & she is not willing to go (because you listened to her) - it's fine, give her the space to explore, make a choice, learn from mistake and help them get back.

list can keep going on...

Closing Note:
Listening is something you should start at as early age of the kid as possible and being consistent, reasonable is important - you cannot say... "Ok, I get this... but will start doing this, when my kid is 6yrs, 7yrs etc" - age does not matter, listening is an attitude you should learn & follow through various stages of your kid, it would help and your kid.

Please drop me a line, on what your thoughts are... @

Thanks for reading this!

1 comment:

Lakshmi Bhaskara said...

Good one 
From last 2 weeks, Adi is bringing back his lunch box without even touching it. I started asking him the previous night, as to what he likes for his snacks box. Says cheese sandwich everyday.. I convinced him that cheese sandwich everyday was boring. Then he gave options like dosa and poori.. Did poori today morning considering his suggestion.. he was very happy and exited..

Still he’s not very good on fruits and vegetables… need to somehow motivate him on that